Unlocking Your Inner Strength Overtime: Emotional Intelligence
Emotional intelligence is vital for personal development and healing, as it enables us to process emotions and foster healthy relationships. To grasp emotional intelligence fully, it's essential to distinguish between self-regulation and emotional intelligence itself.
Understanding the Concepts
- Self-Regulation refers to actively managing our feelings regarding emotions, thoughts, events, experiences, and behaviors.
- Emotional Intelligence, on the other hand, is about effectively handling your own emotions while also understanding the emotions of others.
In simpler terms, self-regulation empowers us to practice emotional intelligence, helping us avoid being overwhelmed by our feelings.
The Impact of Trauma on Emotional Intelligence
During a traumatic event, the brain undergoes significant changes, causing emotions to become highly reactive. The brain also narrows its focus, responding reflexively—meaning automatically and without conscious thought—to ensure survival. This is where disconnection occurs, and assistance may be needed to escape the fight, flight, freeze, fawn, or flop trauma responses.
When the brain is set for reflexive responses, we must learn to guide it towards reflective responses—using careful thought and awareness—without getting trapped in negative cycles. This process is about teaching the brain new patterns, reassuring it that we are safe. However, it requires understanding, education, time, coping tools, and considerable effort from both the individual and their family, especially after experiencing trauma or when regularly working with an overstimulated nervous system.
The challenge arises when we need to support loved ones and help them feel secure, even when we ourselves might not feel safe—such as when a child faces a life-threatening situation. This is where supportive little buddies can be found very helpful.
