Trauma isn’t something you can just get over with a snap of your fingers. When we are traumatized, we always lose something.
If you missed our other blogs that are a part of this series of ‘Why You Can’t Just Get Over It’, click on the links below to find out more.
Why you can’t just get over it (Intro - Part 1)
Why you can’t just get over it (Denial - Part 2)
Why you can’t just get over it (Anger - Part 3)
And, if you are continuing with us, let’s move into the third stage of the 5 stages of trauma together - Bargaining.
Stage 3: Bargaining
The next stage of trauma is bargaining. After navigating through denial and anger, the core emotions connected to your trauma become more apparent. These sentiments can be strong and overpowering, offering insight into the true magnitude of your losses or experiences. In our experience, this stage is particularly challenging to work through.
When this arises, a common reaction may be to seek to restore control of your circumstances through bargaining.
There are diverse ways that bargaining can manifest. You may desire change, pray for your trauma to reverse, or delve into what-if-this-had-happened-instead scenarios.
It can be simple to become lost in the negotiating stage as a way to delay the reality of what has occurred to you. Many individuals — particularly those of religious backgrounds — rely heavily on religion and the powers of their deity to resolve their trauma.
How to deal with stage 3
Though it can be tempting to divert attention from the truths of your trauma through negotiations or hypothetical scenarios, it won’t aid in confronting and overcoming your trauma.
During the bargaining stage of trauma, it is important to assess and evaluate potential changes from bargaining and what-if scenarios.
You can shift from bargaining by challenging distracting thoughts.