In our last blog post we shared with you some helpful tips on communication. We are going to build off of that post so if you have not had a chance to read through it yet make sure you go ahead and do that first - click here to view our last post.
Communication is done well when you can understand how you feel about your emotions and when you can effectively manage your own emotions while understanding the emotions of others. This is referred to as emotional intelligence.
Before we dive into emotional intelligence it is imperative we introduce the understanding of how feelings affect our emotions. This is best learnt in early childhood and it requires an environment where you are diligent in showing your child several things. Some of those things need to include that:
- You recognize and honor their emotions
- You embrace accountability for inflicting discomfort on others
- You recognize and honor your emotions
- You know it is key to express feelings
Here’s how great this can play out in real life with your kids. It builds on communication, lets your kids see it without having to personally claim any emotions or feelings and you can guide them to better understand different situations based on your core values.
If any of your kids enjoy Disney then we can likely agree that they do a great job in showing feelings and they even get your emotions going based on how you feel watching their content. The next time you find yourself watching a Disney movie or reading one of their books, be on the lookout for when the characters in the storyline show an emotion. When emotions are seen, try to call out the feeling the character seems to be having that's causing their emotional reaction. Then, make it a game or have a conversation to find out who caused those feelings and show some respect and acknowledge that the character's feelings are valid. Once those are sorted out, be sure to reinforce the value of how great it is when feelings are communicated and shown well. This is often communicated when problems resolve as this is often the case with a Disney movie.
If Disney or reading is not your thing, another way of showing feelings is by communicating them aloud throughout your daily life. An example of this is communicating your own feelings like when you get hurt by stubbing your toe or falling down. If communicated and explained well as to what happened, children will pick up on what feelings were had and not only will they pick up on how you communicated but they will likely mimic you in future should that happen to them.
We understand the pressures of being a parent are real. If we all take a step back and slow down we will realize communication is at the core of so many things. We’d encourage each of you to start understanding your own feelings that trigger emotions and to take the time to teach your kids the same.
Some of those core feelings and emotions that should be understood are: joy, fear, gratitude, sadness, hunger, tiredness, anger, envy, anxiety, pain/hurt, embarrassment and disgust. All of these are valid and can be felt at different times throughout life. They need to understand it’s okay to have these emotions and to feel what they feel.
Once feelings are recognized the next work comes in managing feelings and this is where our avatars come in. Join us on our upcoming blogs - it’s going to be fun!
-The Lakunakai Team